Time

Annika just had her first bottle with chocolate milk. And before you claim that I am a bad mom just know that I neither made it or gave it to her. She has two big sisters who let me know after the fact that they had given it to her. I said she could have it... as in a little drink of their milk but they went one step further and made her a bottle. I might take it away but she has been crying all afternoon and this made her tempoararily happy. And it gave me an idea that she might drink her milk if I gave it to her with chocolate all the time. (We have had problems switching over to milk... she won't switch.)

In other news my baby is now 30 1/2 inches tall and weighs 20 pounds 1 ounce. She tries to toddle all over the room. She walks 7-10 steps- then falls- and crawls the rest of the way. 'They' call her a toddler while I still call her a baby. She still nurses lots and still wants her pacifier. She still likes to be swaddled at night and refuses to eat anything that isn't soft or pasta. But I know I have almost run out of time with my baby. She will soon venture all the way over to toddlerhood and leave that swaddle blanket behind.

Even as I mourn the loss of the baby I am excited for the things to come. I am excited for the opportunity for some one on one time with Ashling, skiing. I know that Annika's turn will be here before I know it. I am excited to take Ali to get her ear's pierced in the near future. I am excited for time spent with my kids without all the necessary baby luggage. I am excited to buy a real purse and leave the diaper bag behind. Sometimes I want time to stand still while I am really wishing away the hard years.